Archives for June 2022

Continuing the series

With this week’s topic “Smile at Strangers”.

The last two weeks

Believe it or not, I was out of the country touring Greece the last two weeks, so I wrote blog posts to cover while I was gone.  Now I’m back and struggling with a bit of jet lag, so bear with me this week if I ramble a bit.  NOTE TO SELF: When traveling, ALSO write the blog for the week you return ahead of time.

Vacation

Just to kick it off, the vacation was AMAZING.  It’s not what this post is about, but here are some highlights anyway.  We flew to Athens and spent three nights there.  The archaeological sites were something to behold, and the food was out of this world. I’d say you’ve never REALLY had a gyro till you’ve had one (or several dozen) in Greece. After Athens we drove around the Gulf of Corinth through the Peloponnese mountains for 4 days finally landing on the island of Aegina where we spent a week in an Air BnB.

It was completely relaxing

And I worked very little…really only enough to make sure there wasn’t anything pressing and to send my pre-written blog posts out.  If you’d like to see some highlights of the trip you can check out some more pics here.

Smiling

OK, on to the topic at hand. Being in a foreign country gave us plenty of opportunity to see and interact with strangers.  Like…everyone there besides us.  And we were on vacation, so of course, as you can see,  we smiled…a LOT.  In my very brief experiment, what I found was this:  When you smile at someone, generally they smile back! A smile is contagious.

What happens?

Researchers have found that smiling, or even nodding at strangers you pass on the street has psychological and physical effects.  The acknowledgement has the effect of making the other person feel included (yes, even briefly).  Not acknowledging them (with a smile!) can make someone feel excluded, even briefly, which leads to loneliness and loneliness can be deadly!

It’s contagious!

Smiling at someone makes them feel “included”, which in turn makes them feel good, which makes THEM want to smile…a smile really IS contagious.  Try it for yourself.  Pick a day and endeavor to smile at strangers you pass on the street and see what happens.

Really, it’s science!

According to mental health expert Roseann Capanna-Hodge, “Smiling at another person can have a ripple effect, not only improving your own health but creating well-being in others.” And “When we smile, it triggers a cascade of feel-good brain chemicals called endorphins…Endorphins lower stress levels, reduce pain, and produce feelings of well-being and happiness—which make us just feel good.” So, smiling not only helps strangers, it make YOU feel good too!

Caution!

But beware…a fake or forced smile does not have the same effect as a genuine smile. Somehow, we humans have a way of detecting when a smile is not genuine.  So don’t try the experiment on a day when you can’t muster a genuine smile for someone, or it will backfire!

And then…COVID

Is it any wonder people were grumpier during the pandemic?  Besides the fact of the disease and the suffering it caused, it ALSO covered up everyone’s smiles.  I’m happy that mask requirements are being relaxed because we can smile at one another again.  And we have enough reasons in this world to not smile, so seeing people smile is a treat.  Even if you’re uncomfortable removing your mask in public, seeing others smile may help you feel just a little better.

Why might we not smile?

There are loads of reasons to avoid smiling at people.  Maybe you are focused on something important, or maybe you feel like a smile will lead to something you don’t want like a conversation when you don’t have time. I get it.  But remember, smiling at strangers helps not only THEM but YOU as well.  Feeling grumpy or overwhelmed?  Try smiling (genuinely) at people. Before you know it you’ll feel much better.

What does this have to do with VO or acting?

I’m glad you asked!  As a freelance VO artist or actor, you are going to wind up meeting and working with strangers ALL THE TIME.  It’s rare to show up on a new set, or log into a directed VO session with people you know.  True, there are times, but it is rare.  And on a set the odds that you know even one person, let alone a group of people, is slim.  And no matter what, there will ALWAYS be someone you don’t know (a stranger).

I may have mentioned before…

Maybe just once or twice anyway, that this industry is built on a foundation of relationships.  It is going to be rough on you if you can’t establish, build, and maintain relationships.  And think about it: People don’t really like a sourpuss (yeah, that is an older phrase that reveals my age, I know).  Every time you show up on set or log into a directed session, you have an opportunity to smile and make a new relationship.

A face for radio

That’s what my mom used to tell me.  Yeah, I know, not very encouraging.  I loved my mom, but she was…complicated.  Anyway, enough about her.  How the heck do you smile at someone as a VO artist when they can’t even SEE you?!  And the answer is…just the same way as if they CAN see you.

My coach

Well, one of my VO coaches anyway, used to say, “I can’t hear your smile”.  I was like, what?  That’s like saying I can’t taste blue.  It made no sense to me.  But here’s the thing: Your facial expression drives a change in your voice.  You actually CAN hear a smile.  Think about the last time you called someone who was happy to hear from you.  You can tell by the way they sound.  And then try calling your boss to take a sick day…THEY’RE not smiling, and you can tell that too!

On set

As I mentioned, nearly every time (if not EVERY time) you arrive on set for a job there are going to be a LOT of people you don’t know.  Smiling will act to make the environment brighter, and if you’ve ever been on an “unfriendly” set (I have) you’ll know that it makes for a very stressful, very long day.  And if you’ve been on a friendly set, you’ll know that it makes the work a breeze (well, it IS still work, but…) and you’ll want to work with those people again.

And…

If you are the one that always responds with a smile, they’ll want to work with you again.  And as a freelance performer, that is what you want.  You want to be the person people want to work with.  So, you be the person who smiles and soon others will be smiling.  At the VERY least you’ll get to work on a fun, friendly set.

At the end of the day

Try to remember that a genuine smile helps to make others feel better and more included.  It helps to relieve (even a little) someone’s loneliness and it also gives you a little endorphin rush as well.  It’s like the simplest win-win situation and you have control over it!  So, from now on…Smile at Strangers!

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Continuing the series

With this week’s topic “Make Goals”.

Drum roll please!

And…here we are. This is the long awaited 38^th in the series post finishing the series!  So, I suppose the heading to this ought to read: Ending the series.  At any rate, this is it, the end of the line for my subset of the 100 wisest words series.  I don’t know if you’ll miss it, but I myself will now have to start coming up with my own fresh topics each week. So, part of me will definitely miss it!

It’s kind of ironic

I didn’t plan it this way, but the irony is not lost on me.  40+ weeks ago I made a goal to write a weekly blog based on a list of “wise words” published by someone else, and here we are as I reach the goal with a post about making goals! I promise it just happened that way.

What is a goal?

The term “goals” gets batted around a lot, but before setting a goal it is important to know what it is, and what it is not.  A goal is big and time sensitive.  It is not an objective (those are the steps you take to reach the goal), a resolution or a mission.  A goal is something “out of the box” that you are trying to achieve.  You should have goals set by week, month, year, 5 years and 10 years (as an example)

Goals

OK, so let’s dive in.  Why is it so important to set goals? The short answer is; without goals you’ll never know when you’ve achieved what you set out to achieve.  As author Bill Copeland says: “The trouble with not having a goal is that you can spend your life running up and down the field and never score.”.  And that is just what many people do.

How does making goals help?

There are several things making a goal will accomplish.  Goals give you focus, help you stay motivated and measure progress, they help you stay motivated and ultimately help you achieve more.  Of course, just setting the goal is only the first step…you have to take action to achieve the goal once it is set.

It’s like driving

I like to compare goal setting to taking a road trip.  Before you jump in the car and head off down the road, you need to have a destination in mind.  Just driving around until you see someplace you want to stop will only waste time and money.  And with fuel at $5.00 a gallon (or more in some places) you can’t sustain that model.  No, you must have a destination selected before you even walk out the door to get in the car!

But the goal itself is just not enough

What good is it to know where you want to go without some idea of how you plan to get there?  Again, like driving, simply saying “I plan to go to Los Angeles” and then driving around aimlessly hoping eventually you’ll wind up in Los Angeles won’t work.  You have to map out the trip.  And, yeah, I know with a GPS in your car it’s easier but stick with me here.

The first step

The first step in goal setting, believe it or not, is knowing where you are NOW.  If you want to go to LA, establishing a starting point is paramount!  Following directions from Atlanta to LA doesn’t work if you are in Billings, Montana.  And yeah, I get your GPS figures that out for you but don’t get stuck on that, the whole driving thing is just an analogy.

One BIG goal, many smaller objectives

You may have heard it said that the way to eat an elephant is: One bite at a time.  This is also true with goals.  Let’s face it, big goals are not achieved in one fell swoop (now THERE’S an oldie for ya!).  Big goals are achieved one objective (bite) at a time.

Which means

Once you have decided on a BIG goal and know where you are at in relation to that goal it’s time to look for intermediate objectives.  A series of smaller “goals”, if you will, that lead to achieving that big goal.  Let’s go back to that trip from Atlanta to LA by car.  Getting to LA is your big goal, but now you have to map out your route, and since you know it is going to take several days you’re going to have to figure out where you’ll stop to rest along the way.

So…

You pick a route (a series of highways) and then decide how many hours per day you’ll drive and figure out where you’ll be along the route when you need to stop.  In those locations you’ll make sleeping arrangements…maybe family, maybe a hotel, maybe a campsite…it doesn’t matter as long as you know ahead of time so you’ll have a place to rest.

Now…

Now that big goal doesn’t seem quite as daunting.  You have smaller, objectives (intermediate goals) to achieve along the way that keep you moving toward your bigger goal. So, you don’t have to worry about LA on day one, you only have to worry about reaching your first stopping point.  You set objectives that are reasonable, measurable, and achievable.  Achieve all your objectives, and you achieve your goal!  Easy right!?

Not so fast!

What if something interferes with an objective, or you change your mind about wanting to go to LA along the way?  In our example, what happens if your transmission decides to blow out on day two?  In those cases, you need to re-evaluate and replan.  It’s as simple as deciding if LA is still your ultimate destination (it is in this story) and then set objectives anew from wherever you are at.

Periodic review/renewal

Goals are not stagnant.  It is important to periodically review your goals and decide whether they are still goals you want to achieve. The goals are yours, so it is perfectly reasonable to drop a goal and add a new one…let’s face it LIFE HAPPENS, and we need to adjust when it does.

In business

As a freelance business owner (face it, your VO and acting career is a freelance small business) it is imperative that you set goals for yourself and your business.  Without goals, you’ll never know if you’ve become “successful” (as you have defined success for yourself).  What do you want your VO or acting career to look like next week?  Next month?  Year?  Decade?  Only you can answer these questions for yourself, and I would bet there are as many right answers as there are voiceover artists and actors.

And then…

Set some objectives for yourself.  Want to become an A-list actor?  Ask yourself what steps you need to take to get there.  Will you need training?  Maybe a degree?  Just like our trip from Atlanta to LA (which is a trip many VO Artists/Actors want to take, BTW) the first step is to determine where you are in relation to that goal.  Find a coach who can evaluate your talent/ability (someone who won’t pump smoke up your…well…backside). Then, based on that honest evaluation, map out the objectives along the way to get where you want to be.  Get training, get an agent, book some student films, then a couple Indie films and finally some 5 or less roles and co-star roles.  Whatever it takes.  And then FINALLY…keep at it…keep your eyes on the next objective and routinely evaluate if your ultimate goal is still right for you.  There are many forks in the road, and you MAY want to take one!

It’s your journey

And only you can map it out.  It doesn’t matter (to anyone but you) what your goals and objectives are.  What’s important is that you HAVE them and are tracking them.  So: Make Goals!

Looking for your next great read?  Check out the “New Ideas and Different Perspectives” promotion!

If you enjoyed this, please leave a comment below to let me know.  If you DIDN’T enjoy it, well, I’d like to hear from you too!  And please feel free to share this blog on social media or with other people you think might enjoy it.

If you haven’t already, please feel free to subscribe so you don’t miss anything!